Thursday, April 16, 2009

Whose line is it anyways?

Whose line is it anyways?

We’ve come across them at the most inopportune moment - just as you were about to make it to the billing counter or the cinema-ticket window or an empty seat in a bus or the trial room at a mall or the lift or the ATM… Phew! We’ve had to face them even at a restroom. Good lord!

Yes, I mean the line-dodgers. They are an ever growing and omnipresent community of X-ray eyed individuals who just seem to detect your brain wave pretty effortlessly and just grab it away from you even before you blink your eye-lid. Any attempt at stopping them falls through. Derisive looks don’t work. Snide remarks are a waste. “Helllllooooo” and “Excuse me!” seem like water off a duck’s back. They just leverage on your inertia of rest to step ahead faster than they do and are further encouraged by your lack of bad manners.

The quintessential line-dodger you are likely to encounter at the choicest of places are as follow:


1)    The serpentine queues at Grocery stores – A scowling middle-aged pot-bellied man who believes he is the reason why the grocery store does not run out of business. Even as you are unloading your cart full of essentials onto the billing counter, he nearly runs you down in a bid to play striking cars with your carton of juice. What’s worse is daddies are just planted at the counter by a hyperactive freebie-loving mother and a fussy kid who are creating a stampede across rest of the store and adding to the Dump @ Daddy.

2)   The Movie Ticket counter – This variety essentially comprises the Rayban-spotting, tattooed, yelling-on-the-mobile-as-I-blow–bubbles-with-my-bubble-gum who believe that they are there all the while and it was just your fault that you missed them. How could you? Well… excuse me now if you’re dun, lady...and you do because you don’t want to create a scene while there are so many people watching you.

3)     On the Bus/Train – You’ve conducted a mini-survey and figured which seat is getting free the earliest and you’ve fixed yourself right in front of your target. You sure can’t miss this one buddy, no way! You are standing smug as the reigning proud possessor of the seat turns other women away. The bus-stop/station arrives, the crown princess vacates her seat, and you just step aside to let her move out and there ….you’re slow again! Someone’s made it bang on target or asked the next lady to push up a bit.

4)    At the Loos – Most often these are mummas with kids who are just not trained to be patient. They are a noisy duo who just cant hold on for the love of dear life and they make a dash for the throne even before you plead your case.

5)     At the Trial rooms – Technically, they are the most difficult to define since they could be anyone – from ayahs, to daddies, to aunties, to cousins, to grannies (thank goodness, pets are not allowed inside malls, or else maybe a Labrador too!) who are posted outside while there could be two ladies alternately trying out for the perfect pair of jeans! Their cronies outside are in-charge of the apparel supply-chain management while they are supposed to dress and re-dress themselves for hours on end, make a cameo appearance at the door, complain about the fit more than wait for approval from the crony and if not satisfied, just let the other cousin inside instead so that she may try her luck a little later. Meanwhile, you’re expected to try your clothes on – mentally, of course!!


I’ve suffered them time and again. Experience has taught me not to feel embarrassed about embarrassing them. Its good for your health as it keeps your blood pressure under check and saves you the possible danger of suffering queue-anxiety. Moreso, you are safe since you are bound to find support from the person standing behind you in the line.

Here’s a no-fuss recipe for you once you’re drained but victorious against the line-dodgers.

Italian Toast with Vegetables

You would need:

Bread - Just about as many slices as you want to have

Cheddar cheese (pizza cheese) – Half a cube, grated.

Butter – 1 spoon

Maida – 1 spoon

Garlic paste – 1 spoon

Black pepper powder – 1spoon

Salt – 2 spoons

Capsicum, Carrot, Cauliflower – About 1 piece each, washed and finely diced.

2 big spoons of oil

How to make it:

Take some oil in a pan and sauté the vegetables with some salt till they are semi-cooled. Make sure you don’t make them too soft. Set aside once done.

Heat butter in a pan and add the Maida to it. Cook till it becomes a little yellowish. Add a little bit of water, garlic paste, pepper powder and some salt. Once it attains a thick sauce-like consistency, add sautéed vegetables.

Spread out 2 spoons of the cooked veges on each slice of bread.

Bake in a pre-heated oven for 5 mins at 120*C or place on a covered tawa for about 5-7 mins.


Italian Toast with vegetables is ready to serve!





  1. Point# 5 is sooo true!! It is darn irritating....when they take hours in the trial rooms....reallly...but my friend and myself...managed to beat that one time....we just used one of the men's changing rooms instead (they were empty)! LOL

  2. Seriously Point no 5 is on the spot!! i hate it when they bring their whole family there who yell out encouragements and you r waiting in line for 15 mins with a pile of clothes u need to try...n they dont even acknowledge ur existence!just breeze past u bringing more clothes :)

  3. all of them are true and i hate these kinds!!! especially no:5!!

    hehe, on a lighter note, once i saw a group of 5 people coming out of one trial room..wonder what they were doing in there!! :D